


Surprise! It's not menopause.

by AusKitty



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Pregnancy, Age Difference, BAMF Original Female Character, Blood and Violence, Explicit Language, F/M, Freeform, Multi, No Beta, Slow Burn, Violence, turns out I cant write graphic violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:33:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22431913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AusKitty/pseuds/AusKitty
Summary: Mama Bear thinks she is going through early menopause... surprise, she's actually pregnant to a super soldier. Which one?? Ummmm well that may have to wait 'til baby is born to find out.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes/Original Female Character, Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s), bucky barnes/original female character
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	1. The not-so-meet-cute

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to preface this entire fic with the warning that this is an older Original Female Character who believes she is going through early menopause. Mama Bear is a character in progress, this entire fic is a work in progress and I may or may not update it on a regular schedule- a lot depends on my mental health and current work load.
> 
> ANYHOO, I'd love feedback, even just a kudos is enough to make my day.

Blood was dripping from her bangs as she flicked her head to clear her vision, the weighted mess leaving a fine spatter in its wake. Her fingers flicked to the earpiece Stark had designed and switched to an open channel. 

“Big Bird if your out there and listening, Mama Bear could use an assist. Preferably sooner rather than later, and of the medically inclined variety would be nice.” She slumped against the wall and let gravity take care of the rest. Her pistols were both empty, the last of her extra mags fallen to the floor beside her, the knives she prayed she wouldn't have to use slid silently from their sheathes, laying them within arms reach. 

“Good Gods above Big Bird, you better be listening. I've got four GSW, through and through in the upper arm and thigh, think one may have nicked an artery.” She grunted as she unlooped the belt from her tac pants and turned it into a makeshift tourniquet, the rapidly flowing blood slowly trickling to a mere ooze. “They are the least of my concerns though, I'm gut shot and it stings like a bitch, I don't know if there are any bogies left down here with me, but the package is secure and the info has been scrubbed.” 

Radio silence is not a comforting thing when you cant tell if your extraction team is in place, its even worse when you really want the reassurance of a disembodied voice in your ear. Even the sarcastic snark of Big Bird would be nice about now, she thought as the world started to go grey at the edges. Vainly attempting to put pressure on her stomach wound to slow the blood flow she saw stars and coloured lights dancing before her eyes before a shadow falls over her. 

“Don't know about Big Bird, but Goldilocks and the Big Bad Wolf got your message loud and clear Mama Bear. We may not be medics, but we know enough to get you the hell out of here.” The gruff voice wasn't one she recognised, the code names were unknown too. Squinting at the man towering over her body she opened her mouth to tell him to fuck right off, that she had a ride out of here thank you very much, and all that came out was bloody vomit. Rich, dark red vomit that made its way lazily down her chin and into her lap. She didn't hear whatever the man said next as she passed out before he could open his mouth again.

*** Five Hours Later***

“I'm telling you Steve, we should have taken her back to the compound. SHIELD medical isn't anywhere near as advanced as the med bay Tony has, and they are understaffed since the purge. I don't trust them to put a broken plate back together let alone a person.” Bucky paced back and forth in the waiting area of the SHIELD medical facility somewhere east of Riga in Latvia. His irritation at not being given any information on the injured agent was wearing on everyone's nerves and at the reception desk, the nurses shook their heads and ignored the ex-assassin as best they could. 

“Buck, we aren't family, we aren't in her chain of command, hell we never even met her 'til yesterday. The docs are under no obligation to tell us anything. And even if they were, its still too early, she's still in surgery.” Steve tried his best to be patient, to sound reasonable to his clearly agitated best friend, but after the adrenaline fueled exit from yet another defunct HYDRA base and going on forty eight hours with no sleep, it was becoming difficult even for him. “Besides which, this was closer and if we didn't get her immediate medical intervention she wouldn't have had a chance. An extra eight hours Buck. Eight hours and she wouldn't have made it at all.” Steve got up and wrapped an arm around Bucky's shoulder. “We just gotta be patient, let the docs do their job.”


	2. Healing is a Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Super Soldiers get to meet the Agent they saved... She is sassy and snarky and maybe more than Clint can handle.

“I'm telling you, there is no way on this big blue ball I am staying in this medical facility for another three weeks. No, they can shit can me if they want, but I am going home. H. O. M. E. Home, all caps and an exclamation point.” Mama Bear sounded pissed, Bucky and Steve could hear her from half way across the floor. Exchanging grins the super soldiers picked up the pace as they made their way to the injured agent's room. 

“And another thing while we are at it, no more fucking bedpans! I am a grown ass woman and I am capable of using the toilet like anyone else. Laying here twenty four seven is detrimental to my mental health. Get me a fucking waiver, I want out. NOW!” 

The woman had a set of pipes on her for sure and Bucky chuckled at her indignance. He laughed even harder when he heard the response from the hapless fool in the room with her. Poor Big Bird had weathered the worst of her tirades for the last day and a half since she was moved from the ICU to the post surgical ward and he sounded under caffeinated for her shit. Her tone turned wheedling as she changed tack “Big Bird, how many times have I busted you out of medical in the last two years? If I needed to be here, I'd stay, but I'm strong enough to travel back to the States. C'mon Birdie, help a sister out?” 

Steve tapped at the door and stepped back, smoothing down his SHIELD issue hoodie and patting his hair into place, a tiny grin on his lips. Bucky smirked and patted his shoulder as the door opened to a flushed and flustered Clint Barton. 

“Hawkeye, we're here to see Mama Bear, if she is up to visitors?” The brunette super soldier grinned, holding out a cup of the facilities finest caffeine enriched sludge, or whatever the hell passed for coffee in these parts. A look of sheer desperation passed over Clint's face as he cradled the paper cup in his hands. 

“My saviors. Seriously, if anyone can talk her into doing what she is told it will be Captain 'Don't Disappoint Me' Rogers and his trusty 'Move and I'll Kill You' sidekick. Mama Bear is worse than me when it comes to medical and she's already refusing the pain meds.” He took a careful sip from the cup before quickly draining the lot in a few silent gulps. “I'm seriously considering defecting just to get off her bedside detail, but I doubt anyone else could put up with her for as long as I have.” Clint's good natured smirk was quickly replaced with a wince as a pillow hit him in the back.

“I can hear you shithead! Now where's my waiver, I want an actual toilet, a hot shower and a cute nurse to scrub my back!” Mama Bear growled from the bed, propped up on a solitary pillow, bandages visible over her arm and peaking out from beneath her blue hospital gown. Several IV drips and monitor wires trailed to the machines stationed at the bed head lending her a certain fragility that Bucky doubted actually existed. “Waiver Bird Brain or I am never busting your ass out of medical again!” Her threat, idle as it inevitably would be, had the archer quickly exiting the room, leaving the super soldiers behind. 

“No guarantees Mama Bear, I'll do my best but you know what medical is like. You technically died twice in the last week, I'm pretty sure they take a dim view of losing a returning patient.”

Steve looked from the woman in the bed to the retreating back of the archer and shook his head as he slowly made his way into the room. Bucky feeling no reservation whatsoever bustled in and dropped into the visitors chair, grabbing the medical chart from the foot of the bed, flicking through the pages quickly.

“And just who the hell do you think you are? That's my chart and I'm pretty sure its confidential. Regardless, you brought Bird Brain a coffee and didn't bring the convalescent anything? Not even gas station flowers? Your bedside manner really sucks.” Mama Bear was sassy, Bucky liked that. His smile warmed his face and he shot a look at Steve. 

“Check this out Stevie, she died twice while under the knife and still woke up cantankerous enough to tell the surgeons that she needed a better pacemaker and to call Stark about it.” Bucky grinned “Knows enough about the hardware side of medical to know a crappy pacemaker from the feel of it in her chest. Fucking amazing.” 

Mama Bear stared at the soldier in the chair, then turned to the blonde at the foot of her bed, her eyes narrowing. “External pacemaker and it was a shitty HammerTech model that was recalled two years ago for faulty wiring, caused more heart attacks than it ever re-set and I could read the gaudy logo with my eyes half closed. Nobody with half a brain would use one if they had a car battery and jumper cables handy.” Mama Bear sniffed, wrinkling her brow deep in thought.

“Let me guess, Goldilocks and the Big Bad Wolf? I thought I dreamed you up, by-product of blood loss and wishful thinking. Cant remember much more than open hailing Big Bird and passing out.” Her voice trailed off and she fiddled with her fingers in her lap. “I guess I owe you both a thank you for hauling my ass outta there, you accept fruit baskets?” 

Mama Bear moved gingerly in her bed, the slight wriggle catching Steve's eye. Tipping his head towards a door in the side wall, a half smile forming on his lips. “I wont tell if you don't tell, I know bedpans are a bitch. Me or Buck could carry you in easy enough, give you a little dignity back.” 

Steve thought the look that spread over her face was like the rising of a new dawn, her smile went from a smirk to a genuine smile of gratitude, her eyes softening and moistening at the corners. A softness settled in the curve of her cheek and the angle of her jaw, relief from the tense grit of discomfort. 

“Oh dear Gods above, yes please! I even promise to stop harassing the nursing staff so much if you can get me there without setting an alarm off.” Sitting forward and reaching for the portable monitor stand Mama Bear started to swing her legs out from under the blanket. “Finally someone with enough sense to know lazing the days away on bed rest can be just as damaging as overdoing it. The way the doctors talk you would think they took a giant chunk out of me, not just stitched me back up.”

Before either super soldier could move a burly orderly came through the door with a wheelchair, Clint ruefully rubbing his neck behind them. “I tried to tell them you would try and do something stupid. Good news is you get assisted bathroom breaks now instead of the pan. Best I could do Mama Bear.” Clint's wink went unnoticed by the everyone but Mama Bear. “Steve, Bucky, could you ah, maybe go wait in the hallway for a minute? Just so we can have some room to manoeuvre in here?” 

Settling herself into the chair Mama Bear smiled at the super soldiers and sent a cheeky wink to Bucky. “Don't go too far, need to know where to send the fruit baskets.”


	3. Big Bird and the Break Out- Part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part one of Mama Bear's Break out from Medical. you will see why its broken in to two parts when the next part goes up next week.

With her bathroom break over and the orderly gone, Mama Bear was perched back in her bed, blankets tucked neatly around her legs as Clint dragged the visitors chair closer to her bedside. His eyes were flicking from a small cell phone in his hand to the womans face, occasionally one finger typing on the screen.

“So, the jet is waiting on the hele-pad, Stark has a suite set up for you with access to the best medical team in the continental US. Monitoring is limited to baseline physical unless an accident or emergency occurs and I'm just a shout away with the in-house AI. I mean literally, you just say 'Hey Friday, get Hawkeye for me' and I'll come running.” Clint speaks in hushed tones, his face turned away from the surveillance camera he knows is in the light fitting above the door. “My only concern is getting you from here to the jet. You cant walk the whole way, and a wheelchair is a dead giveaway that something is going on.” He tapped at the screen again before sitting the phone on the portable monitors. 

“That's easy fixed, why do you think I told the All American Beefcakes to stay close? Master tactician should be able to work a way of getting me there, and Thighs of Betrayal can just punch anyone who gets in the way. Non-Lethal please gentlemen, I'd like to stay on the good side of the bad side of the boss man.” Mama Bear grinned as she heard the gentle tapping of Morse Code against the wall. --. .. ...- . / ..- ... / ..-. .. ..-. - . . -. / -- .. -. ..- - . ... / - --- / .--. .-. . .--. / - .... . -. / ... . -. -.. / - .... . / .... .- .-- -.- / --- ..- -/ .... . / -. . . -.. ... / - --- / - . .-.. .-.. / - .... . / -. ..- .-. ... . ... / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / ... .-.. . . .--. .. -. --. / .-- .... . -. / .... . / .-.. . .- ...- . ...

“How long will you need for pre-flight Big Bird? Pretty sure the boys can manage to get me there in time if you leave soon.” 

“Five minutes to get to the jet, another three for pre-flight, so if we say ten minutes from the moment I leave. That phone has already hacked the monitors and will loop for at least four hours, considering they check you every hour we should be fine. Just need to unhook you from the IV and we are ready to rumble.” Clint grinned at the woman in the bed, it was the first time he had planned a break out for her, it was different being the one on the outside so to speak. 

“The soldiers want fifteen before you leave, and you're to tell the nurses I'm asleep. I'm guessing its to set up their alibi, or plot a route or something. While we wait, tell me more about this tower.” Mama Bear set the count down in her head and listened to Clint wax lyrical about the shiny tower Stark had set up for the Avengers. As the fifteenth minute drew close, Mama Bear grabbed Clint's hand and squeezed, whispering softly. “I'm asleep Birdbrain, you put me to sleep with all your blabbering.” A tiny smile flitted across her mouth as she closes her eyes and unhooks the IV from the cannula in her hand.

Clint gets up, moves the chair back and kisses her on the forehead, covering her while she removes the monitors. Slipping quietly from the room, he winks and closes the door. Making his way passed the nurses station he raps on the desk to get the orderlies attention. “Mama Bear is out for the count, guess going to the toilet really took it out of her. I'll be back tomorrow to see her again.” 

Clint makes his way at his usual easy pace to the hele-pad and boards the quinjet, rapidly flicking switches and checking dials before setting his headphones in place and requesting permission to leave. A grinning Steve Rogers joins him in the cockpit as permission is granted and a safe flight is wished.

“Mind if we catch a ride Hawkeye?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morse Code Translation: --. .. ...- . / ..- ... / ..-. .. ..-. - . . -. / -- .. -. ..- - . ... / - --- / .--. .-. . .--. / - .... . -. / ... . -. -.. / - .... . / .... .- .-- -.- / --- ..- -/ .... . / -. . . -.. ... / - --- / - . .-.. .-.. / - .... . / -. ..- .-. ... . ... / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / ... .-.. . . .--. .. -. --. / .-- .... . -. / .... . / .-.. . .- ...- . ...  
> give us fifteen minutes then send the hawk out he needs to tell the nurses you are sleeping when he leaves


	4. Big Bird and the Break Out- Part Two

Around five seconds after Clint left the room a small squeaking came from the overhead air vent and the four screws holding the cover in place fell to the floor rapidly followed by a pair of black combat boots. “You ordered a break out? Don't worry we aren't going back up through there, way too dusty for your condition and there's a bitch of a pinch point about four yards away from the vent.” The grimy grin on Bucky's face was enough to make Mama Bear smile in response. 

“So if we aren't going out that way, how are we going?” She stood carefully, wrapping her injured arm around her waist and straightening as far as she could. “There better be a wheelchair somewhere, because I don't think I can walk the whole way.” Bucky wrapped an arm around her waist and wriggled his eyebrows. “No wheelchair, but you still get to travel in style.” With no more than a smirk he lifted Mama Bear into a bridal carry and shouldered his way out the door. 

Suppressing a squeak Mama Bear threw her good arm around his shoulder and buried her face into his neck. “Sonofa, warn a woman next time! That could have pulled the stitches you meathead.” Bucky's laugh did wonderful things to the warmth inside her belly, or was that the pain meds Clint had sneakilly pumped into her before the heist began? “Don't you worry Mama Bear, Goldilocks and Big Bird should be ready and waiting for us when we get there, a short flight to the nearest Avengers related base before we change our flight plan and head for home.” 

Bucky's voice washed gently over Mama Bear as she closed her eyes and breathed in the clean scent of him. It was... soothing... she thought, all that hard corded muscle hid a soft and squishy center. That thought got her thinking about marshmallows, and hot chocolate, then she turned her face towards his throat and hummed. “I think he gave me the good stuff, all I want is a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. If I were on the regular meds I would vomit at the thought of all that sugar.” 

Bucky was stealthy at the best of times, but with his cargo mumbling about hot chocolate he almost gave up their position as a white coated Dr and their associate walked past the corner ahead of him. “Mama Bear, you gotta keep it down a little. Don't want to get caught and sent back to the ward do you?” Tugging herself closer to his chest, Mama Bear curled her hand tighter at the nape of his neck, rubbing her lips over the pulse point. “Take me home, don' wanna stay here.” Bucky sighed silently and picked up the pace, there was just a short walk to the service elevator, then a few more halls to get through to get her out and into the jet. Surely Hawkeye would be ready to lift off when they arrived. 

The elevator ride was reasonably smooth, not as smooth as the elevator at the Tower, but at least he only had to re-adjust his hold on Mama Bear twice when the car jerked or the pain was starting to rear its ugly head. What could you expect though, it was a shoddy service elevator in a second rate SHIELD base that had seen its glory days well before the break up of the U.S.S.R. Bucky shook his head a little at the thought, praying that the elevator didn't break down. 

As the doors opened to the grinning face of Steve Rogers, Bucky felt the weight shift in his arms as Mama Bear threw herself at the super soldier, barely managing to keep her from falling. Her eyes were wide and serious as she pawed at Steve's chest. “How can they be real? Your tits are bigger than mine! The Big Bad Wolf has sharp teeth and powerful thighs. He could kill me with his thighs and I would say 'thank you for your service Sir' but your tits could smother a girl and she would die with a smile on her face.” her momentum halted as Bucky and Steve smother a laugh, confusion washing over her face. 

Transferring her weight back to Bucky, Steve stroked a hand across Mama Bear's face and smiled. “Time for someone to have a nap on the jet. There's a nice cosy gurney for you, and we got all the good meds on board. Buck will hook you up to all the best in-flight entertainment later. But first, we gotta get on board.” Making their way up a short flight of stairs and along a dimly lit corridor, Steve and Bucky set their sights on the end of their journey and took Mama Bear with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but its the best of fur different versions, so it will have to do... sadly for me my brain isnt working very well at creating/utilizing the good chemicals at the moment, so updates will be unpredictable.


	5. All's fair in lust and war games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok... so I'm going to apologize for the crappy chapter update. Chapter four has been an absolute pain in my ass and then Chapter five wanted to be written before chapter four was finished... as a result my brain fried itself and this is the result.
> 
> 1\. its short- for me, very short  
> 2\. I'm not happy with it (because its short, not as fleshed out as I would like and does almost nothing for the plot)  
> 3\. I will eventually go back and fix it  
> 4\. Chapter five is almost finished and we get to see some of Mama Bear's inner demons

Josie Slade, AKA Mama Bear, AKA SHIELD Agent 96, AKA the pain in Clint Barton's ass, the woman was driving him insane. Since Cap, Barnes and he had busted her out of the SHIELD Medical facility in Riga she had become a constant source of irritation for the archer. He loved his Mama Bear like the big sister he never had, but she was really wearing him thin. And it wasn't just her near constant bitching about still being on bed rest, but the near obsessive attentions of both Cap and Barnes. Whenever they left the Tower, be it to go to the bodega for a supply run or to bust up some random AIM experiment, the first thing either super soldier would do on their return was hunt down Hawkeye and demand an update on their guest.

“Seriously Nat, I think the soldiers have a thing for my sister, and I don't know if I should be afraid for her or for them.” Clint flopped backwards onto Nat's immaculately made bed, ruffling the covers and pulling a pillow to his chest and hugging it tight. “Last week she told me that she could handle starting PT and then she was put back into medical to get her stitches fixed because she pulled them. Then Cap cornered me and gave me a lecture about not pushing her beyond her limits and not caring about her health.” Clint sighed theatrically and threw the pillow at Natasha as she turned her back on him.

“Its not your responsibility yastreb, you are her friend, not her keeper.” Nat dodged to the left and turned, redirecting the pillow back at Clint. “And Cap should know by now that she has a mind of her own, he and zima are with her often enough.” Nat leaned against the frame of her closet and smiled, a sly twitch of her lips, “If anything I feel sorry for you, it cant be easy being on the carer's side of the sick bed.” 

“Wouldn't be half so bad if Cap and Barnes would just back off a bit. Now I get how you must feel watching my stupid ass after an incident.” The archer sheepishly rubs at the back of his neck, a moue of regret flitting across his face. “Seriously, I should ask Hill for an assignment and let her deal with the Soldiers herself, but I'd feel guilty about dropping her bitchy ass on them for more than a few hours at a time.”

“Yastreb, I got a call out that requires something a little more hands off than I am happy with, perhaps Hill will switch us out and I can take over the care of mama medved'” The quirk in the corner of her lips was enough to have Clint off the bed, arms bulging around her tiny waist. 

“Nat, you are an actual angel. What time do I leave?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Google translate is my go to for English/Russian translations... forgive me if its not accurate.
> 
> **yastreb = Hawk  
> **zima = Winter  
> ** mama medved' = mama bear


	6. A Bear, a Spider and Two Super Soldiers walk into a bar...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok, so I had to cut this chapter in half because it was just too long and unwieldy.

“Nat, sweetheart, darling, light of my life...” She pauses to sweep her bangs out of her eyes as the music reverberates through her body, “Why the ever loving fuck did I let you talk me into this?” The hot press of bodies around her was enough to keep her bare arms and back warm, the clinging velvet of the backless dress Nat had poured her into earlier in the evening a distracting wisp barely covering her modesty as far as the SHIELD Agent was concerned. Such a far cry from the modest black button down and fitted jeans she would have preferred to wear while out on the town. Thankfully Nat had allowed her to wear her combat boots, that was the only allowance made to comfort though. 

An hour and a half under the watchful eye and steady hand of The Widow transformed Josie from a bed headed, irritated ball of cabin fever to a glamorous and sleek woman-about-town, the clothing and accessories better than she wore on undercover ops and light years more expensive than her meager collection of clothing at the tower. 

“You love it medved', or you wouldn't be here at all, and just think, poor yastreb is somewhere in the middle of Siberia about now, up a tree. I lucked out on him taking that assignment.” Nat's laugh carried across the crowded room and had heads turning. The music ebbed and flowed as the Widow pressed in closer and tipped her lips to the older woman's ear. “Don't look now, but I think you have a couple of admirers.” Tipping her chin towards the bar where two tall, slim young men were eyeing the dancing women, Nat slid in closer and turned for Josie to catch the watchers in her periphery. 

“One, ew no; Two, too young and Three, did you see that excessive facial hair? It looks like angry badgers curled up on their faces and refused to leave. I'm pretty sure that goes well past hipster and into lumber-sexual territory. Not my type at all.” Despite her obvious look of distaste the young men picked their way across the floor to dance close to the pair. Nat's energy dimmed as the taller of the two edged closer into her personal space, and Josie's growing unease was no deterrent for his friend. By the end of the song both women were pressed so close as to hinder their movement in an attempt to courteously avoid causing a scene. Security were busy with another altercation at the bar and were beyond reach of either women.

When the large sweaty palm of the shorter man cupped and squeezed Josie's ass for the third time, all courtesy and pretense of gentility disappeared as she twisted the offending limb deftly behind his back, dropping the sole of her boot to the back of his knee. As the man crumpled to his knees in the middle of the dance floor Nat put a hand in the face of his friend. “He touched her without permission, he harassed her when she tried to evade him. Do not escalate this situation, it is between them to sort out. You do NOT want to make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.” 

Flicking her bangs from her eyes, Josie glared at the two men before releasing her grip and pushing the floored man away. “And unlike my friend, I am always angry. Touch any woman again without her enthusiastic and ongoing consent and I will find you and I will break all twenty seven bones in the offending hand, starting with your carpals and finishing with your phalanges. Do you understand me you kusok der'ma?”

Without waiting for a reply Nat wrapped an arm around Josie and made her way towards the coat check by the door leaving both men in stunned silence. The people who were dancing around them barred the way so they wouldn't be followed and Nat gave a heads up to the bouncers as she passed. “Handsy asshole over there may need an assist to find a cab, I doubt he wants to keep partying.” Her smirk and a neatly folded twenty had the bouncers smiling. “Love to Miss Nat, as always it was a pleasure to see you.” Slipping into her borrowed leather jacket Josie raised her eyebrow at Nat, who just waved coyly at the men before they entered the street. 

“Nat, seriously, after that you still want to drink?” After walking for a block or two Josie was slowing down, the fresh air and previous encounter making her a little slower to recover her good mood. “Can't we just go back to the tower and order a pizza? Clint hasbeers in the fridge that I need to drink before he gets back.”

Nat laughed, flagging down a cab and hustled them both in. “Josie, medved', dearest heart of my heart, you are going to LOVE this place, much more your style than mine. If after half an hour you hate it, we will go back to the tower I promise.” Giving the driver an address in Brooklyn, Nat sat back and tucked her friend under her arm, a slow smile spreading across her face. By now they should be there, and well into a game of pool or two no doubt. Her plan was afoot and Nat lived for the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brought to you by Anxiety, Depression, Social Isolation and listening to The Guardians of the Galaxy Awesome Mix Vol.1 and 2 on loop.
> 
> medved'- Bear  
> yastreb- Hawk  
> kusok der'ma- piece of shit
> 
> https://au.shein.com/Lace-Up-Open-Back-Velvet-Cami-Dress-p-439944-cat-1727.html?url_from=auadpladress180302105M&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9ZzzBRCKARIsANwXaeLwULG7CsdGbJ7Sofm0Em_pE-7_3X5K4Gs87oceUvqMHO35idRRfVQaAgoeEALw_wcB This is what I picture Josie wearing


	7. Revenge and other dishes best served cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://lookastic.com/men/looks/three-piece-suit-dress-shirt-oxford-shoes/61413
> 
> https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/231054/dublin-drop-cocktail/
> 
> https://www.unlv.edu/sites/default/files/page_files/27/CampusRec_BilliardsRules.pdf  
> “Running the Table” pocketing all your balls in a consecutive run.
> 
> Translations by Google Translate  
> neuklyuzhiy bolvan.- Lumbering oaf  
> toskuyushchiye po lyubvi duraki- lovesick fools

“I choose and you HAVE to drink it, no chickening out!” Josie turned to the bar, eyeing the proprietor and smiling with feral glee. “Two Dublin Drops, and the name of your tailor. That suit is to die for!” The smile from the barman as he turned to pull their drinks had Josie relaxing against Nat and her earlier angst was dissipating quickly. 

Nat eyed the glasses on the bar, her eyebrow arching inquiringly as Josie sat the glasses down in front of her.

“Its simple, you take the shot, drop it in the Guinness and drink. Best to do it quick though, you don't want to see what it looks like if you let it settle.” Josie swiftly dispatches the drink, her throat pulsating as the dark and creamy liquid recedes from the glass. “I told you Nat, you have to drink it if you want to play pool!”

Nat nudges her friend and downs the shot first, then sips the thick black stout carefully. “At least its the genuine article and not some cheap imitation, you wouldn't believe how many places claim to have real Guinness but don't get it imported from Ireland. I believe I said shots OR beer though, so this was technically cheating.” 

“Technically Shmechnically, I ordered, you didn't drink it properly so I get to break!” Josie laughed as she turned from the bar, her eyes searching for the pool tables that Nat insisted were there. “I don't see a free table Nat, we might have to wait a bit.”

Linking arms with her friend, Nat made their way across the floor to the furthest table and laid a coin down on the rail. “We have the table next, Gentlemen.” Nat claimed their table like a shark zeroing in on a particularly tasty treat. “My friend and I have had a rather challenging evening and wish to unwind in style.” Nat's smile could only be described as intimidating as the two older gents who currently made use of the table set their cues up and left the table quietly. 

“You didn't have to do that Nat, I don't mind waiting. They barely started their game.” Josie looked towards their retreating backs when she noticed two other gentlemen offer up their table to the older patrons. A tall Blonde and a muscular Brunette quietly pressed their own cues into the older men's hands and gestured to the table, set and ready to go. With quiet smiles the younger men made their way over to where Nat was setting up.

“Want to make this interesting? One of us gets to play the winner?” The blonde casually asks as the brunette swings his arm over Nat's shoulder. “Nah, we should play doubles, Me and Nat against you and Mama Bear.” 

Nat shrugs the arm off, slipping her palm against Bucky's chest and pushing gently “If we are to play doubles, I'm not having you as my partner you neuklyuzhiy bolvan. No, medved' and I against you toskuyushchiye po lyubvi duraki. That will even the odds in your favour.”

Licking her lips Josie picks up the cue, chalking the tip before moving to the top of the table. “Best three of five. Aside from me getting to break because Nat welshed on our standing bet we're playing APA rules, loser pays the tab. Are we all agreed?” 

“Ah medved', you want them to lose that badly you want them to play by the rules?” Nat chuckled as she selected a cue and chalked the tip. “How about we play for fun, and the loser pays the tab?” 

“Agreed!” shout Bucky and Steve simultaneously. “That is, Mama Bear gets to break, we play for fun and the loser pays the tab.” Steve re-affirms as he leans against the wall. “How hard could it be, a master tactician and a dead eye sniper against a spy and a SHIELD Agent.” 

Bucky's eyes rolled into the back of his head as Steve made his fateful proclamation. “You know you just jinxed us right Stevie?” 

Josie ran the table. Nat smirked and Bucky shook his head in disbelief as Steve sputtered dumbfounded. 

“Best three of five Boys?”


End file.
